Foreign Language Department To Add ‘Basic White Girl’ Course Next Semester

The University of South Carolina’s Arts and Sciences Department announced Monday it will begin to offer Basic White Girl as a foreign language elective next semester.  The addition comes after thousands of requests crashed the department’s Twitter page.  The class will fall under the recently created “Modern Languages” Department that also offers classes in Frat Bro and Advanced Meme Comprehension.

“We’ve broken the class down into three simple parts: texting shorthand, emojis, and high-pitched noises,” said newly-appointed department head Taylor McKinsey.  “The goal for this class was to make it as unique as possible.”  Students can register for the class by commenting “yaaaaaas, bitch!  (crying-laughing emoji) (heart-eyes emoji) (eggplant emoji) (tongue emoji)” on the department’s Instagram page.  

McKinsey noted that the department had hired a popular beauty and makeup Youtuber to teach the class, and that the lessons would rotate between various Starbucks and Einstein Bros. campus locations.  Students enrolled in the class would also have to meet a weekly quota of Instagram posts with dogs and Snapchats with dog filters as part of their homework grade.  This course will also be the first at USC with a dress code, requiring students of both genders to wear long sorority t-shirts, norts, and Uggs. The class will also include a range of guest speakers from BuzzFeed editors to Forever 21 store owners to background extras from Mean Girls.

The announcement has already received support from a wide-ranging audience interested in the class, particularly from college guys wishing to understand their girlfriends.  “Meghan and I have been dating for five months now, and I still have no idea what she is saying to me most of the time,” sophomore Kyle Hellman said.  “I think this class will really help our relationship develop and allow me to fully understand her text messages.”

In addition to male students, the class has also received support from parents and grandparents.  Steven Phillips, father of freshman Casey, believes this class could have a significant impact.  “It’s like I don’t even know who she is anymore,” Phillips said with tears in his eyes. “It all started when she became a teenager.  The clothes, the language barrier, the mannerisms; her friends would come over and I couldn’t tell which one was her.  I think a class like this could help me reconnect and make up for lost time.”

At press time, a mob of parents who did not “know what an Instagram is” were storming The Horseshoe to enroll in the class.