Responding to the results of a study taken during a recent lunch period at Russell House, USC administration announced today that dining services will be moved elsewhere in favor of converting the dining hall into a study hall.
Citing the findings of the study, 82.69% of tables were being used by single students who had too many textbooks on their table to add a dish of food, in addition to a minimum of one student using a booth for a midday nap.
During the interview stage of the study, the sleeping student was quoted as saying that “there just isn’t anywhere else on campus that matches the comfort of the dining hall tables,” as well as adding that he “just wish[ed] people would figure out that [Russell House] isn’t the place for loud conversations with friends” as he packed up a large number of pillows and blankets.
Another student interviewed agreed that the student union is simply too full of distraction. “The only thing I dislike about Russell is how obnoxious it is sometimes,” he stated. “It really pisses me off when I’m trying to study and it just smells like chicken tenders. Even worse, last week some group of people actually moved my books so they could sit on the other side of my table. Like, I’m sorry, but just because this table has 30 chairs doesn’t mean it’s a table for 30 people.”
When asked where the dining services would be moved, USC administration said that they were still looking at options, but that among the choices being looked at were to convert a portion of the Strom Thurmond Wellness Center or the recently vacated Sigma Chi house.