Letter to the Editor: Apologize for Discriminating Against the Illiterate

To the editors of The Third Spur:

I demand that you apologize for your inconsiderate and tone-deaf actions in discriminating against the illiterate.

Your attitude is elitist.  Everyday, you wake up as one of the privileged few who know how to form words from letters.  Everyday, you leave your homes knowing you can immediately tell how expensive gas is and be gifted enough to be able to read street signs. And everyday, you purposely leave out your readers like myself that cannot read.

You may ask: Why is it your fault that other people can’t read?  Isn’t this an overreaction? I can’t believe that it’s 2019 and I still have to call you out on this! You were blind and inconsiderate in choosing to express your content through words in the first place.

Moving forward,  I suggest you not use words, or sounds, or any physical medium, as I have pledged to do, to convey your thoughts. Instead I will utilize low frequency radio waves, similar to how dolphins or bats communicate, to communicate with my fellow humans – ALL of my fellow humans.

Sincerely,

BWEEOOOOEEEOOOOOEOOOOOOOOEEEEE