Pastides’ Successor has “Big Shoes to Fill”

Personable. Hardworking. Size 15.

These are some of the traits students are looking for in our next USC President.

There was one thing that students could agree on unanimously: They want a President with feet as large as Harris Pastides.

Standing at a whopping 5’8” and a size 15 shoe himself, it’s clear that the next president has some pretty big shoes to fill.

“We need a President who is strong willed, ready to fight for his students, and loves USC just as much as we all do,” senior marketing student Jackson Pricket says. “You know, someone who could walk a mile in Pastides’s shoes. Someone who’s a step ahead of the competition. We really need to tread lightly when it comes to choosing the next President.”


“I’m not finished,” Pricket continued. “I mean, Pastides has been kicking it here for ten years, and who’s to say how long the next one will be around? We can’t have anyone scuffing up our reputation. We need to put our best foot forward with this one. Someone who puts the ‘shoe’ in ‘horseshoe’. Someone who can put their foot down when they need to. Additionally, I would like his feet to be approximately 12.125 inches, just so we know he’s qualified for the job.”

Sophomore Hailey Codwell, president of the Sneakerhead Club, says a President who doesn’t embrace shoe culture is no president for USC.

“If he couldn’t wear Pastides fresh-to-death lace up Nike Air Max-97’s, then we don’t want him,” Codwell says. “Expect more, pay less. That’s the motto.”