New Bar in Five Points Just Giant Trough Filled With Beer

The newest addition to the bar scene in Five Points opened its doors this weekend for the first time, generating plenty of buzz among students who are taken with the establishment consisting solely of one continuous trough filled with beer. “The Gutter,” advertising a carefree, relaxed atmosphere, premiered with a special for patrons over the age of 21 to slop all-you-can-drink from the 20-yard aluminum feed box, all for $5.

“There’s no better place to go and just pig out,” customer Jason Harris told reporters. Harris has frequented the bar several times since its opening. “It can be tough to get a spot at the trough since it’s so crowded, but you just have to crowd in there, grunt a little, and shove your head in.”

Attractions  in addition to the saliva-and-beer-filled chute include complimentary oats and corn, as well as a dance floor covered in mud to roll around in.

Despite mostly positive reviews, the young business will face competition next month when the popular chain “Bad Doggy” expands to Columbia, known for its sale of $1 Fireball shots served through spray bottles.