Since the flu season is beginning in the middle of a pandemic, there’s a big chance you might be spending your Thanksgiving break in quarantine. If so, don’t despair! It’s in your best interest to make this a decadent week to social distance and just spend time with yourself. I am here to give you our top six quirkiest Thanksgiving solo adventures!
- Visit museums from home! The National Museum of Natural History offers virtual tours. You can become as cosmopolitan as you always wanted without leaving the comfort of your desk!
- Early spring-cleaning. It’s time to look at everything you own–starting with the 12 ft. Giant-Sized Skeleton with LifeEyes that you bought from Home Depot in October–and ask yourself, does this spark joy? If it’s a no, then it’s time to go!
- Look through old scrapbooks and take a trip down memory lane. Remember that time you bought a 12 ft. Giant-Sized Skeleton with LifeEyes from Home Depot? It was so spontaneous of you. Look at the wacky photos you took with Jonald (you called him Jonald). You had good times together. But now he’s out of season, and he must be disposed of.
- Take a day trip! Pack your things and head out to Sullivan’s Island in Charleston County. You can luxuriate in the mild heat of a South Carolina autumn!
- Burying the body. Jonald didn’t fit in your garbage bin. His head peeked out, and his animated LCD eyes seemed to plead with you to take him back. No worries! Under cover of night, remove Jonald from the trunk of your car and bring him to the beach. Bury him with the shovel you brought (check out my latest post for instructions on bedazzling your garden tools!). When the job is done, sit on the sand and look at the stars. Think of how much better your life will be now. Feel something unfamiliar, knowing you will take this secret to the grave.
- Changing your identity. You can’t live with the guilt. Neighbors are asking questions like, “Where did your out-of-season 12 ft. Giant-Sized Skeleton with LifeEyes from Home Depot go?” It’s time for a DIY self-care spa day! Go to a gas station restroom and lock the door. Change your clothes, then cut your hair and dye it. Grip the edges of the sink and stare into the mirror. Then get into your car and drive until it runs out of gas. Hitchhike for another two days. Use an accent and a fake name. This is your new life, and you can never go back.
And most of all, don’t forget to have fun! You may not be able to gather around a table with all of your cousins and fight over who breaks the wishbone, but you can still make the most out of your break by making it all about you. Thanks for reading, and don’t forget to check back next week for my review on Dua Lipa’s new release “Love Again (Garabatto Remix)”!