You Asked, We Delivered…

Third Spur is happy to announce our new line of NFTs!

After countless requests from our loyal fans, we are finally releasing our first ever NFTs! In collaboration with esteemed NFT creator and UofSC student, Tommy “ToTheMoon” Weltmann, we are a debuting a series of 3 NFTs! This collection will be called On the Cockchain.

We will be auctioning off the three unique NFTs on the OpenSea blockchain. Our crypto department has set them at a base price of 0.0001 ETH, but we are expecting a 10X jump in price. Senior Cryptologist, Jeremy Rottenheimer (@crypt_keeper), believes we have the next NFT craze on our hands, so make sure to get in on the ground floor. The auction will last April 1st to April10th. 

The first NFT is an animated depiction of Cocky riding a crtypo-themed train. The second NFT is of a train riding a crypto-themed Cocky. The third NFT is a graphic depiction of the train going into [REDACTED].

At the Third Spur, we understand the seriousness of screenshotting NFTs. When someone purchases an NFT on the blockchain, it means that the image is totally, like legitametly, their intellectual property or something. It’s pretty much like a legal document. So, we made some changes here at the Third Spur office in order to combat this blatant thuggery.

Tony Mangioni is coming on board as our NFT Screenshot Enforcer. In partnership with OpenSea, we have 24 hour surveillance on our NFTs to make sure no screenshots are taken. Tony has had years of training in enforcer positions, and has been vetted intensely by our newest cyber security intern, Rigby. Rigby even took time out of his Friday night to background check Tony after a Village Idiot Bud Light pitcher.

Though he is new to NFT’s, Tony said that he has had plenty of experience in enforcement positions. When someone takes a screenshot of one of the On the Cockchain NFTs, Tony has made a comprehensive plan in order to deal with the perpetrator. Tony employs the advanced Guaranteed Unanimous NFT-Enforcement System (GUNS for short):

Unfortunately, to give Tony his well-deserved corner office, we have had to let go of our senior editor, Gary. Gary has been beloved by our readers and has worked tiredlessly for us for years. Gary even came up with the idea to start our own NFT series! But, times are changing, Gary! Don’t worry though, readers — we know that being a single father, Gary has had a hard time feeding his three children. So, we sent him away with a hefty severance package of not one – but three Taco Bell coupons for Crunchwarp Supremes (with the purchase of a large Baja Blast). Gary will now have more time to volunteer at the local food kitchen, which he so often loved to do after work. You’re welcome Gary.

(Pictured above: Gary when he recieved the news of getting his corner office.)

Thanks to Gary’s departure, we are now ready to move into the future. So keep an eye on those NFTs coming out, and keep your hands away from the screenshot button.