Professor Wary of Student Currently Initiating Small Talk

According to a report coming out of Dr. Amy Johnson’s office hours, the associate professor of Economics is growing increasingly wary of the undergraduate student currently making polite conversation in her office. The concern arises as the student, who is enrolled is an entry-level macroeconomics course with middling grades, has been making off-handed remarks about their interest in Johnson’s specific Economic specialities for the last few minutes.

“I think they’re considering asking to do research with me,” Johnson said via instant message, “and all I can do is seem uninterested as long as I can, praying that does not happen.” Sources say that the professor of six years has begun to drum her fingers on her desk to mask her terror as the student is unzipping their backpack to retrieve an unsolicited resume.

“Look at her in there. She looks fairly bored, but she’s fighting with everything she’s got,” a fellow professor reportedly remarked from the hallway, shaking his head. “Godspeed, Johnson.” In a last ditch effort, Dr. Johnson attempted to say “well, thanks for coming in,” while pushing her chair from her desk, to no avail.

At press time, the student was beginning to stammer the words “senior thesis,” as Johnson visibly struggled to appear absentminded.