Alcohol-Free Tailgate on Greene Street Attracts Crowd of 5

The University’s alcohol-free tailgate attracted a record high number of students before last Saturday’s game. Preceding the football game, a large crowd of 5 students was seen out on Greene Street taking advantage of all that the university had to offer.

“It’s always fun to come down here and grab a quick bite to eat,” said sophomore Toby Danport. “I like to come out and practice a little bit of cornhole on game days to get my competitive spirits up, just in case anyone else wants to play a few rounds. Sometimes my friend Dave will stop by to toss around the tennis ball for a little bit. Always a good time.”

Even after their tennis ball rolled into the sewer drains, spirits were still high. The handful of attendees raced each other from one end of Greene Street to the other, shotgunning bottles of water and LaCroix. “It’s so great to see so many students taking a stand against underage drinking and practicing safe substance use,” Marla Anderson, the university’s Substance Abuse and Prevention Education coordinator, recounted.” AlcoholEdu must really be working!”

At press time, a bike cop was seen asking Ms. Anderson to turn down the Taylor Swift playing on her iPhone.