Chicago Cubs Set Off Apocalypse With World Series Win
They celebrated their championship blissfully, unaware that they had wrought a future of locust swarms and fire raining from the sky.
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Fall 2016 Edition 7
Obama Signs “Stand Your Ground” Law Against Anyone Dressed as Clown
The law stipulates that all clowns are subject to be harmed, not just ones brandishing weapons or stalking citizens.
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Trump Revealed to be Two Middle Schoolers in Over-Sized Coat
Timmy and Ricky, both age 13, claim to have gotten the idea watching Saturday morning cartoons.
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Cultural Appropriation Voted #1 Halloween Costume For Fifth Year Straight
Cultural Appropriation had a significant lead in the poll over its competition, which included the kitty cat, Ken Bone, and Harley Quinn.
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Five Points Called “Trick-or-Treating Nightmare”
USCPD have announced that children will not be permitted to trick-or-treat in Five Points in the future.
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