Student Tests Positive After Barely Going To That Many Parties
“If someone as safety-conscious as me can get it, anyone can.”
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covid
Cup Shortages Lead to Cup Checks
“We have simply been left no choice.”
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“Portal to Hell” discovered in Humanities Building
The temperature issues are clearly the result of a newly opened “gateway to an infernal realm resembling Hell.”
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Thank Heavens! Strom Thurmond Lines Cure COVID
“Some of my colleagues and I gathered around a few brewskis, a doobie, and a Grateful Dead 45, and we figured out how to solve the COVID crisis.”
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UofSC to Ban Students
“With the Delta Variant running rampant, it’s in our best interests to bring all studies to an immediate halt.”
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Opinion: Group COVID Testing Mandated Just In Time For “Cuffing Season”
Spitting has never been so sexy.
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Opinion: Alright, Real Funny Guys, Just Cause I Woke Up From A Coma Doesn’t Mean I’m Going To Fall For The Old Plague Bit
Ok, guys, I get it. It’s real funny to mess with the guy who just got out of a coma.
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How UofSC Flattened the Curve
“Our recent drop in active COVID cases is thanks to one of our newest policies affecting the campus dining hall.”
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