Cookin’ with the Spurs: Pork Chops for 1
You too can enjoy what was once reserved for normal people by just following this simple recipe!
Read more
Entertainment
Third Spur’s Kitchen: Microwave Nachos For Broke College Students
You’ll love this easy recipe any time you’re craving a quick snack!
Read more
Five Totally Foolproof Ways To Get Your Fifth Grade Crush To Notice You
It’s the late 2000s, love is in the air, and you have a crush that’s in the fifth grade (wow!).
Read more
Opinion: Feeling Bitter On Valentine’s Day? Try This!
I’ve rediscovered a 19th century British Valentine’s tradition called Vinegar Valentines.
Read more
Only True Fans Of Age Of Consent Laws Can Get A Perfect Score On This Quiz
When it comes to the age of consent, are you a legal whiz?
Read more
Top 5 Ways To Drive The Serial Killer Behind Your Shower Curtain WILD
Get started on pampering the Man of Your Nightmares, sister!
Read more
Movie Reviews By Grandpa Leeroy – “The Emoji Movie”
Good God. This one. Look, I don’t pretend to be hip with the new technology like you Millennials. A fax
Read more
Indie Band “Not Prepared For Fame So Quickly”
Columbia-based indie band Utah Run, a musical group formed out of guitarist Jake Wolziek’s apartment, faces an unusual problem.
Read more
Movie Reviews By Grandpa Leeroy: “The Godfather”
You’ll probably think this movie’s a waste of time.
Read more
Freshmen Fashion Week: The Hottest Looks from Students Realizing College Has No Dress Code
“As I started noticing some upperclassmen around me, it dawned on me that I can wear literally anything that I want.”
Read more
Marvel Executives on Black Panther Release: “See? We Aren’t Racist, We Have a Black Movie”
Marvel responds to recent controversy over their casting choices.
Read more
Male Celebrities Dress for #NotMe Campaign During 2018 Academy Awards
The men dressed in solid colors based on the severity of the accusations levied against them.
Read more
Which USC President are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?
Aries: You are Jonathan Maxcy. You’re the first on the list, so naturally you would be the first president of
Read more
Book Review: A Tale of Two Cities
Before I begin, I thought I should make one thing very clear—I have totally read this book.
Read more
“How Can All These Powerful Men Be So Awful?” Asks Man Sending 9th Unsolicited Dick Pic of the Week
Rioux was seen asking a woman in his check-out line if “that [cucumber] was big enough for [her].”
Read more
Horoscopes: October 2017
Libra (September 23 to October 22) – Nothing of note will occur. Just go on with your life and pretend like nothing is wrong with the world.
Read more
World Puzzled As 2017 Has Not Yet Killed Celebrity
2017 has not yet killed anyone of consequence.
Read more
Trump “Inauguration Festival” Lands Middle School Choir
The lineup for Donald Trump’s ‘Inauguration Festival’ was finally released Wednesday January 18th, and it has music fans everywhere dying to get a ticket.
Read more
Joe Pesci Swallows Reporter Whole
While sitting on a panel for the upcoming film ‘The Irishman,’ noted American actor Joe Pesci swallowed a reporter in one fluid motion, according to sources.
Read more
Student Hopes Third Listen of Broadway Musical ‘Hamilton’ Enough to Get Laid
Finishing his third play-through of the week, sophomore Jared Davis expressed hope that his extensive exposure to the popular Broadway
Read more
Kanye Announces Anti-Piracy Campaign
Speaking from the deck of his newly built ship, “Queen B’s Revenge”, Kanye West announced earlier today that he would be setting sail in a new anti-piracy campaign.
Read more
Oscars To Feature Only White, Human Nominees
Controversy has erupted as the 2016 Academy-Awards approach with the only nominations for major awards going to white, human actors.
Read more
Nation’s Whites Thrilled To See Coldplay Perform At Super Bowl
During this year’s Super Bowl Half Time performance, every white person in the country reportedly took a break from discussing Downton Abbey and poorly recreating “The Dab” to enjoy Adult-Alternative music group Coldplay.
Read more
Carolina Productions Releases Spring 2016 Movie Lineup
Cinema-lovers rejoice- Carolina Productions has released its spring movie lineup for the Russell House Theater. We’ve included the whole list here, for easy viewing. Enjoy!
Read more
Date To State Fair Somehow Goes Terribly
Rory Morton, 18, somehow managed to have a terrible date to the South Carolina State Fair on Saturday, sources say.
Read moreArea Man Brings Guitar To Party, Again
Local Douchebag Brian Fielding, 27, brought his guitar to yet another party, which, for some inexplicable reason, he believed was
Read more
Redefining Sexual Maturity: Senior Reaches Climax Of Retired Life
At the Winter’s Gate Retirement Community, there’s not much for the residents to do while they await their deaths. Some
Read more
Kate Upton Wins Oscar For Best Personality
The stars were shining in Hollywood on Sunday night, where hundreds of celebrities gathered at Dolby Theatre for the 87th Academy
Read moreCarny Really Has Things Going For Him
Long time carnival employee William “Scurgly” Harrisburg really has his life going in the right direction. Scurgly’s good fortune started
Read more
Exclusive View At Michael Bay’s New Film “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”
The Third Spur has been granted an exclusive view of Michael Bay’s new adaptation of Eric Carle’s “The Very Hungry Caterpillar”
Read more