Freshmen Fashion Week: The Hottest Looks from Students Realizing College Has No Dress Code

Freshmen Fashion Week: The Hottest Looks from Students Realizing College Has No Dress Code

April 16, 2018 campus, fashion, freshmen

“As I started noticing some upperclassmen around me, it dawned on me that I can wear literally anything that I want.”

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 6

Guy Asking Professor Something During Exam Definitely Got a Fucking Hint

March 31, 2018 exams, hint, professor

“I think he was drawing question 3. And did you see how he went back to his desk and immediately scratched something out? Jesus Christ.”

Campus Developing Stories Spring 2018 Edition 6

Advising Office to Student Body: “You Aren’t Getting in that Class… Bitch”

March 31, 2018March 31, 2018 campus, classes, registration, USC

“You’ll take a 9:40am lecture with the worst professor we’ve got and you’ll like it.”

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 6

Resident Mentor Who’s Never Broken a Rule in Her Life Really Excited to be the “Chill One”

March 31, 2018March 31, 2018 dorm, resident mentor

“I don’t mind if my residents have a little fun… and as long as I don’t hear even the slightest sound coming from anyone’s room past 7 pm.”

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 5 World

Wistful Glimmer in Study Abroad Student’s Eye as Spain Mentioned in Passing

March 6, 2018March 6, 2018 spain, study abroad

Those around Collins continued to ignore her, with one friend explaining [she] does this at least twice a week.

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 5

Aging Expo Marker Trying Its Hardest to Not Dry Out

March 6, 2018March 6, 2018 campus, marker, one more day, petigru

An expo marker in Petigru is simply taking it one day at a time.

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 5

In Conjunction With Counseling Department, Thomas Cooper Library to Implement New “Loud Floor”

March 5, 2018March 6, 2018 Finals, Library, stress

“We’ve offered quiet floors for years, but we’ve neglected to cater to the community of students who need an environment with the loudest noises imaginable to be productive.”

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 5

CEC Dean: Engineering Fee Increases Will Fund Carowinds Trip for Faculty

March 5, 2018March 9, 2018 CEC, engineering, tuition

This came as a sigh of relief for many CEC undergrads who worried the fee increase not be justified.

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 4

War Breaks Out Between Roommates Over $2 Venmo Request

February 25, 2018September 4, 2018 Money, roommate, war

Chaos has broken out in Apartment 512 of the Redtail on the River apartment complex.

Campus Entertainment Spring 2018 Edition 5

Which USC President are You Based on Your Zodiac Sign?

February 20, 2018March 20, 2018 horoscopes, president, USC

Aries: You are Jonathan Maxcy. You’re the first on the list, so naturally you would be the first president of

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 7

Girl Thinks it’s Love After Date in Russell House Theater

February 13, 2018April 16, 2018 love, movies, Russell House

“I don’t have huge expectations, you know, so this was perfect,“ she said.

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 2

Investigation: One Desperate Student’s Embarrassing Dash to Her Shuttle

February 5, 2018February 5, 2018 bus, campus, running

On Tuesday afternoon, a sophomore was seen speed walking through the Horseshoe in an attempt to catch her shuttle back

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 2

Student Returning from Semester Abroad Blindsided by Pandini’s Absence

February 5, 2018 abroad, dining, food, pandinis

The one thing she had been looking forward to while abroad was a meal at Pandini’s.

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 2

Guy Wearing High School Hoodie Finally Finds Former Classmate Who Also Goes Here

February 5, 2018February 6, 2018 campus, high school, Russell House

“I decided to wear my Thurwell High Eagles sweatshirt everyday until I found him.”

Campus Politics Spring 2018 Edition 1

Student Government Shuts Down After Pastides “Shithole States” Remark

January 28, 2018January 28, 2018 Pastides, shutdown, Student Government

‘Why are we having all these students from shithole states come here?’ Pastides said, according to those in attendance at the meeting. ‘What are all these people from Ohio doing here?’

Campus Spring 2018 Edition 1

Third Spur Exposé: Sorority Sister Asking for Prayers After Receiving Lenovo Instead of Macbook for Christmas

January 28, 2018 christmas, computer, greek life

One sorority sister is just glad to be back on campus after suffering through the worst Christmas of her life.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 7

Foreign Language Department To Add ‘Basic White Girl’ Course Next Semester

November 18, 2017 campus, language, USC

The addition comes after thousands of requests crashed the department’s Twitter page.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 7

Housing Review: Living in Maxcy-Gregg Park

November 18, 2017 campus, community, homeless, housing, USC

Maxcy-Gregg Park is the latest option for on-campus housing.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 7

College Student Has Cooking Breakthrough Making Boxed Macaroni

November 18, 2017 breakthrough, cooking, dorm, student

Klein mentioned that he was considering taking on something even more difficult, such as chocolate chip cookies or a milkshake.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 7

Red Cross Volunteer Accidentally Fills Student with 50 Gallons of Blood

November 18, 2017 Blood, red cross

The machine was accidentally set to ‘blow’ instead of ‘suck.’

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 7

U101 Student Excited to Change Major to University Studies

November 18, 2017November 18, 2017 Major, u101, USC

A first-year student attributes his newfound interest in the University of South Carolina to University 101.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 6

Timeless Struggles of Mankind Not Compelling Enough for Student in History Course

October 24, 2017October 26, 2017 class, history

A source has confirmed this week that sophomore Tim Avery is “bored” by the spellbinding journey of humanity.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 6

Student Finally Just Using Group Chat to Find a Weed Dealer: “Fuck It”

October 21, 2017October 26, 2017 campus, drugs, GroupMe

The struggle faced by a freshman USC student to find drugs has finally ended today with one simple GroupMe message.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 5

Senior Admits to Using Google Maps to Find Way to Class

October 16, 2017 class, google maps, senior

In a press conference held today, one USC senior finally admitted that he has no fucking clue where his classes are.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 7 Sports

Richland Deputies Host Tailgate with Confiscated Booze

October 14, 2017November 19, 2017 alcohol, police, tailgate

The deputies rented out spots in Memorial Lot, leaving several coolers inside their black Chevrolet Tahoe, blasting 80’s rock hits.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 4

Despite Structural Concerns, Visual Design Student Adds One More Anime-Themed Pin to Backpack

October 8, 2017 art, pins, visual art

Creativity knows no bounds in the McMaster School, but backpacks do.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 4

Capstone or Trapstone: Residence Hall Turned Deathtrap

October 8, 2017October 10, 2017 capstone, danger, traps

“You get over the fear of death real fast when you live here,” Sam Huggins told reporters, “if you manage to survive past move-in day.”

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 4

Guy Without Car Insists He Doesn’t Need a Car to Get Around

October 8, 2017October 8, 2017 cars, school, travel

‘I can ride the buses I guess. I mean, I’d have to figure out how that works but I could.’

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 4

Of-Age Student Arrested After Wearing Lanyard Downtown

October 8, 2017October 16, 2017 crime, freshmen, lanyard

City leaders released a joint statement after the arrest, condemning the student for what they called ‘an incredibly blatant attempt to break the law.’

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 4

Student Alarmed by Sudden Onset of Free Time

October 8, 2017April 2, 2018 freetime, homework, school

He was alarmed this weekend by a sudden lack of deadlines, assignments and meetings.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 4

Alcohol-Free Tailgate on Greene Street Attracts Crowd of 5

October 8, 2017October 26, 2017 football, sports, tailgate

The University’s alcohol-free tailgate attracted a record high number of students before last Saturday’s game.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 3

Freshman Drops Out Under Pressure to Keep Up With GroupMe’s

September 30, 2017September 30, 2017 drop out, GroupMe, technology

‘I just couldn’t have the FOMO nor the stress,’ he said, staring wistfully in the distance.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 3

Student Finds Cryptic Message in Carolina Alert

September 30, 2017October 1, 2017 carolina alert, spooky

At first, it seemed like they were just saying, ‘this is a test of the Carolina Alert System’.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 3

Student Trapped in Quicksand in Earth and Water Science Building

September 30, 2017October 1, 2017 campus, quicksand

Freshman Steve Montaigne was found deep in the Earth and Water Science Building after being missing for two days.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 2

USC Fight Song Changes to Wagon Wheel to Remind You Darius Rucker Went Here

September 19, 2017September 30, 2017 darius rucker, fight song, USC

The lead singer of late 80s band Hootie & the Blowfish was, of course, the singular successful graduate of our university.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 2

Freshman Puts Condom in Wallet Because “You Never Know”

September 19, 2017September 22, 2017 freshmen, love, sex

Jenkins says he’s waiting to find the right girl not to have sex with, but to make love to. ‘If it happens at a bar, so be it,’ he says.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 2

Class Traumatized After Professor Brandishes Midterm

September 19, 2017September 22, 2017 college, exams, professor

‘You always hear about this kind of thing happening in other classrooms, but you never expect it from your own professor.’

Campus

Freshmen Claim They Will Have Best Tailgate During First Home Game

September 16, 2017September 16, 2017 football, tailgate, USC

They’ve confirmed reports that they may have secured a prime tailgating spot.

Campus Fall 2017 Edition 1

Super Senior Really Gonna Buckle Down this Semester

September 9, 2017 graduation, senior, studying

This semester is going to be different for sixth-year senior Justin Eloy, who plans on ‘really buckling down and wrapping up [his] schooling.’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 10

Horseshoe Bar Announces Finals Preparedness Week

April 24, 2017April 24, 2017 Finals, Five Points, USC

Beer will be half-priced after midnight if students show their notes to the bartender.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 10

President Pastides Given Two Weeks to Throw Greatest Party Ever

April 24, 2017April 24, 2017 Finals, party, Pastides

He has bet Clemson University president James P. Clements he can throw ‘the most reckless rager in this state.’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 9

Dude Acclaimed for Sick Throwback Playlist of 2010-Era Hits

April 7, 2017February 27, 2019 college, Music, party

Partygoers were shocked and amazed when the songs blasted through the Beats pill in the center of the room.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 8

Man Learns Coldplay Song on Piano in New Strategy to Impress Women

March 24, 2017 Coldplay, love, Music, piano

He is reportedly waiting until ‘a smokin’ babe’ is in the room before trying it out.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 8

Laundry Hamper To Be Converted Into Laundry Pile

March 24, 2017 campus, laundry, student

Sources later reported Wolfe was already considering relocating the pile to the center of her carpet.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 8

College Libertarians Hurt by Remarks on Free Speech Beach Ball

March 24, 2017 campus, college, free speech, Libertarian, mean

The group, which was criticized last year for displaying signs on Greene Street bearing swastikas and other controversial symbols, told Third Spur that it had hoped passing students would have been nicer.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 7

Opinion: Spring Break Was Fucking Lit

March 17, 2017 campus, college, spring break, vacation

Go big or go home, am I right??

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 7

Honors Fire Alarm To Be New Wake-Up Call System

March 17, 2017 campus, dorms, USC

The daily blaring fire alarm will be introduced in all the dorm buildings next semester.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 6

Excess Quesarittos Escape Cage at Russell House Taco Bell

February 25, 2017 campus, food, Russell House, taco bell

The grilled Mexican goods have caused several thousand dollars in damage during their rampage.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 6

Grizzled Columbia Police Officer: “I Will Clean Up This Town One M.I.P. at a Time”

February 25, 2017 college, columbia, Five Points, police

‘These students are the most despicable people on the planet.’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 6

Professor Wary of Student Currently Initiating Small Talk

February 25, 2017 campus, professor, student

According to a report coming out of Dr. Amy Johnson’s office hours, the associate professor of Economics is growing increasingly

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 5

President Pastides Lands Side Job Trucking VCRs Across State Border

February 18, 2017 Pastides, trucking

Pastides raised both hands and said, ‘I ain’t got half a hog’s guess ’bout anythin’ illicit goin’ down here.’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 5

Student With Iranian Physics Professor Thinks Travel Ban “Great Idea”

February 18, 2017 immigration, politics, student

Davis currently holds a D average in the course taught by Dr. Farrokh Rahbar.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 5

Student Stops Taking Notes After Missing Previous PowerPoint Slide

February 18, 2017 class, notes, student

Eyewitnesses claim he turned to a nearby student, shrugged and quipped, ‘what can you do?’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 4

Freshman Council Can’t Wait To Add Experience To LinkedIn

February 10, 2017February 10, 2017 Freshman Council, freshmen, Student Government

The Council said it had already drafted a concise, but efficient, bulleted list of its responsibilities.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 3

Student Government Prepares for Annual Week of Relevance

February 3, 2017February 4, 2017 campus, election, Student Government

‘You really have to get out there disrupt someone’s walk to class if you want them to recognize the existence of your organization,’ one candidate said.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 3

Business Fraternity Excited to Expand Professional Drinking Network

February 3, 2017 business, drinking, greek life, professionals

Potential new member Josh Greely said to the Third Spur: ‘I’m really excited to join and shotgun some brews in a suit.’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 2

Autopsy of Dead Student Reveals Diet was ‘90% Hot Pockets and Pringles’

January 27, 2017 Death, Pringles, student

‘Never before had I seen a more malnourished, sickly person in my life. I felt like an archaeologist digging through the caked layers of Pringles in his stomach.’

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 2

President Pastides Stumbles Back Onto Campus After Weekend Bender

January 27, 2017January 27, 2017

Pastides nodded to passerby and took long, retrospective drags on his unfiltered Pall Mall cigarette.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 1

Last Night Absolutely Bereft of Good Decisions

January 19, 2017 drinking, Five Points, love

Once inside, it was less than one half-hour before you were thrown from a bucking mechanical bull.

Campus Spring 2017 Edition 1

Students Return From Break With Renewed Sense of Anxiety, Self-Loathing

January 19, 2017 campus, self-loathing, USC

‘You don’t want your self-esteem hovering around normal for too long.’

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 9

Report: You Definitely Did Not Study Enough For Your Final

December 1, 2016December 1, 2016 exams, Finals, school

Researchers confirmed that it’s pretty fucking obvious you are not prepared.

Campus

Freshman Believes He Won’t Vomit a Third Time Tonight

November 24, 2016November 24, 2016 alcohol, campus, freshmen, mock trial

‘I mean, I’m basically empty at this point,’ Williams stated.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 8

USC Pregnancy Up 389% After Health Center Condoms Ruined by Prankster

November 17, 2016 campus, health, sex

SHC security footage shows the culprit in black gym shorts, a red beanie, and t-shirt with the message ‘Set Love Free.’

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 8

Cocky Asks to be Euthanized after Lengthy Battle with Throat Cancer

November 17, 2016 cocky, gamecocks, USC

Once able to speak coherent sentences, Cocky has been limited to hoarse crows and inaudible whispers.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 8

Report: Junior Still Slave to Mother’s Phonecalls

November 17, 2016 cell phone, Parents, student

Jim, despite being in his junior year, has repeatedly disengaged from social activities to answer his mom.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 7

Five Points Called “Trick-or-Treating Nightmare”

November 3, 2016November 3, 2016 campus, Five Points, halloween

USCPD have announced that children will not be permitted to trick-or-treat in Five Points in the future.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 6

Football Game Vomit to be Collected, Recycled into Carolina Cards

October 27, 2016October 31, 2016

In a statement, Athletic Director Ray Tanner praised the decision, saying that the Spew Sacks will be a welcome addition to the University’s recycling program.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 6

USC Meal Plan to Only Cover One Meal

October 27, 2016October 31, 2016 campus, food, USC

The swipe may only be used once per semester, and does not roll over into a new semester.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 5

USC Requests Ideas for New Racists to Name Buildings After

October 20, 2016 buildings, campus, racism, USC

‘There just aren’t many Strom Thurmonds anymore,’ one official said.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 5

Area Strip Club to Begin Accepting ‘Carolina Ca$h’

October 20, 2016October 21, 2016 5-points, Carolina Cash, Strip Club

Students who plan to spend $5000 or more per semester at Platinum will receive a 10% discount on their initial Carolina Cash purchase.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 4

Pastides Announces Free Smokes For President’s List Scholars

October 6, 2016October 6, 2016 campus, Pastides, scholars

Pastides announced free packs of Newport menthols would be awarded to every student on the annual President’s List.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 4

Cocky Outed In NSFW-Film With Big Bird

October 6, 2016October 6, 2016 cocky, nsfw, USC

The University is in disarray after a pornographic-film of Cocky and Big Bird found its way onto the Internet.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 3

Students Suspended After Parents Get Too Drunk At ECU Tailgate

September 30, 2016September 30, 2016 alcohol, campus, Parents, Parents Weekend

Nine students were suspended after their parents were reprimanded for drinking too much during Parents Weekend.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 3

Roommates Resume Masturbation Schedule After Conclusion Of Parent’s Weekend

September 30, 2016September 30, 2016 campus, DJing Own Party, roommate, USC

USC roommates Steve Walsh and Mike Thompson resumed their masturbation schedule immediately after the conclusion of Parent’s Weekend earlier this month.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 3

Coker Vending Machines Voted Best On-Campus Dining

September 30, 2016September 30, 2016 campus, food, USC

Fall student polls have revealed today that for the third year in a row, the vending machines in the Coker Life Sciences Building have been voted best dining on campus.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 2

Sororities Outspoken After Being Asked Not To Drink Selves To Death

September 22, 2016September 22, 2016 drinking, greek life, USC

In light of recent sanctions from the USC Sorority Council, several sororities are vocalizing their objections at being asked not to drink themselves to death.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 2

New Bar in Five Points Just Giant Trough Filled With Beer

September 22, 2016September 26, 2016 5-points, drinking, USC

It’s all-you-can-drink from the 20-yard aluminum feed box, all for $5.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 1

Hazing Scandal: Pledges Must Maintain Reasonable GPA

September 15, 2016September 15, 2016 fraternity, GPA, greek life

Parents and students at the University of South Carolina are outraged over recent reports of hazing occurring at many fraternities on campus.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 1

Man Who Impregnated Woman Just Wants To Be Friends

September 15, 2016September 15, 2016 friendship, pregnancy, student

Sources this week say that student Dustin Okuda has expressed his desire to simply remain friends with the woman he impregnated.

Campus Fall 2016 Edition 1

USC Legalizes Cocaine To Curb Illegal Adderall Use

September 15, 2016September 15, 2016 cocaine, drugs, Pastides, USC

In a move to reduce illegal Adderall use, USC President Harris Pastides announced today that cocaine will now be legally sold on campus in a joint venture with Sodexo.

Campus

University Administration Will No Longer Support Safe, Air-Conditioned Spaces

September 4, 2016 air conditioning, campus, safe spaces

The University of South Carolina says safe, air conditioned spaces are not in line with its principles.

Campus

Summer Intern Gains Valuable Experience Slacking On Job

August 27, 2016September 16, 2016 business, internship, summer

University of South Carolina student Jared Reid, 20, has gained valuable experience with avoiding all forms of work while at his summer internship, sources report.

Campus

Grip On Reality Proving Tenuous For Vacationing Student

August 27, 2016September 16, 2016 college, existential crisis, summer

Just five weeks into his summer vacation, all meaningful attachment to this realm of being has begun to dissipate for college student Todd Atlas.

Campus

Pastides Confused, Students Gone

May 20, 2016May 20, 2016 Finals, Pastides, students

Only two weeks after the end of spring semester, USC president Pastides has been seen running across campus frantically searching for students he considers ‘missing.’

Campus

USC Smokestack Erupts For First Time In 500 Years

May 8, 2016May 8, 2016 natural disaster, smokestack, USC

Today the USC Smokestack in central campus erupted for the first time in nearly 500 years, an event scientists are calling ‘the ecological disaster of the millennium.’

Campus

Tour Of Cardboard Homes Shows Sigma Chi Integrating Well Into Homeless Community

May 8, 2016 columbia, fraternity, homeless, Sigma Chi

Despite concerns about their recent homeless status, members of the former Sigma Chi fraternity seem to be integrating well into the Columbia homeless community.

Campus

Student Checks Out Shakespeare’s ‘First Folio’ from Library

April 24, 2016April 24, 2016 First Folio, Library, Shakespeare

Yesterday, freshman student John Doe reportedly checked out the original edition of Shakespeare’s First Folio for use in his Intro to British Literature class.

Campus

Russell House Dining Hall To Be Converted To Study Hall

April 21, 2016 campus, Russell House, students

Responding to the results of a study taken during a recent lunch period at Russell House, USC administration announced today that dining services will be moved elsewhere in favor of converting the dining hall into a study hall.

Campus

Student Sued For Having Different Opinion

April 18, 2016April 18, 2016 Lawsuit, politics

University of South Carolina has become the subject of controversy after a student has sued a fellow classmate, for having a different opinion.

Campus

All Student Loan Debt Carried By Area Man

April 15, 2016April 15, 2016 debt, Money, students

According to new statistics from the Federal Student Aid Commission, local student Todd Garrison owes all outstanding student loan debt in the United States, last valued at 1.2 trillion dollars.

Campus

‘Where Is The Quad,’ Visiting Father Continues To Ask

April 12, 2016 campus, father, tour

Across campus this week, father Tom Gladson, who is visiting USC with his daughter Stacy, continues to ask where he can find ‘the quad.’

Campus

University Ambassadors Have High Schoolers Fooled This Year

April 7, 2016April 7, 2016 campus, tour, USC

As many prospective students tour USC’s campus during their spring breaks, early reports say that USC’s university ambassadors really have this year’s batch of high schoolers fooled.

Campus

New Student Body President Confused That Pastides Still in Office

April 4, 2016April 4, 2016 election, Pastides, Student Government

The new Student Body President, began his tenure confused to find university president Pastides still in his office.

Campus

South Carolinians Thrilled To Find Roads Upgraded To Gravel

March 29, 2016 gravel, roads, South Carolina, traffic

Citizens of the state of South Carolina awoke Tuesday morning to find that all of the state’s major roads and highways had been upgraded to gravel overnight. State officials reportedly viewed this change as the cheapest and simplest solution to the prior debilitated condition of the roads.

Campus

New Student Body President Texts Campus “U Up?”

March 24, 2016March 24, 2016 Student Government, students, Texting

Across campus, students were startled to receive a message Thursday morning from their new student body president, which simply asked, ‘u up?’